Today, I had a major accoomplishment. I baked cookies. Not just any cookies. They were “Healthy” cookies.
There were four possible reactions to that statement.
All the Supermoms and non-breeders said “So what?”
All the stressed moms out there said “How did you have time?!? Did you sacrifice your shower? And they’re ‘good for you cookies’ goddamnit!?”
The third reaction, “Why not just regular cookies” as you shove oreos in your mouth…. shame on you for not bringing snacks for the rest of us!
And the recipe hounds are probably skimming the page for the recipe part and skipping the bulk.
Ok, I will give you the recipe, you can stop begging. But you’re also going behind the scene.
Amber’s “Heathy” Double Chocolate Nutty Crunch Cookies. Or something.
Everything is measured by eye as all my measuring cups, spoons etc. disappeared when I had a kid.
About 1 cup flax seed flour. Gotta use this crap up before it goes bad.
About 1 cup the absolute whitest generic flour out there, these have to at least be edible, and let’s face it, nothing tastes better than a white flour cookie!
About 1 cup of white sugar that also gets all over the counter(Crap, the brown sugar is hard as a rock…. should have used that clay disk thing Aunt A brought from Arizona…..)
3 drizzles of olive oil because the boyfriend used the rest and didn’t put it on the shopping list and I only wanted olive oil anyway because we’re out of butter.
1 cup hemp nuts. Eh just shake the damn bag, gotta use them up, my health nut of a Mom gave me six bags and there’s four left….
3, no 4 very small eggs. Damn these eggs are tiny!
Shake the baking soda into the cup of your hand until you get about 1 tsp. Where the hell is my baking powder?!?
1 tsp Baking Powder.
Take the giant resturant size jug of Vanilla extract that you got from your dad’s friend and try not to spill more than a tablespoon into the batter.
A drizzle of Maple Syrup because the batter is looking a little thick.
A sprinkle of cinnamon.
1/2 Tablespoon of sea salt, and if you’re not putting sea salt in your cookies yet, you’re missing out!
1/2 cup Cocoa Powder, because no kid is eating a brown cookie with weird seeds in it unless its chocolate. Chocolate hides all sins.
1/2 bag of Chocolate trail mix.
Yeah, you read me right. Trail mix. I once made chick pea, pretzel cookies with trail mix and my kid still says they were the best cookies ever.
1. Pre-heat oven to…. I don’t know, what’s the temperature of the oven for the pizza that’s in there? Nah, that’s too high, try pre-heating to 350.
2. Mix everything but the trail mix together either by hand or by mixer.
3. Add Trail mix. Mix again. Slower, stuff was just jumping out of the bowl.
4. Scoop out with that one really big spoon you have with the other silverware. Kinda make them round by hand. Wait, grease the cookie sheet first. Place the cookie on greased sheet.
5. Bake for 20-28 minutes, or until they look done and aren’t wet in the middle.
6. Shoo children away because the cookies have to cool before you can eat them. Immediately eat one off the tray the moment you’re in the cleat. Damn, you burned your mouth again, oh well! Worth it, because, cookie! Serve.
Okay, I admit it, these cookies aren’t really all that healthy.
What was this really about? Emptying the cupboards and creating food for my family.
Times have changed. Groceries are expensive. But food still needs to be made. Some days you just look in the fridge and say “There is no food” We’re all guilty of this. Food is all around us, it just takes time, creativity, and effort.
So the next time you open that pantry and groan “Ugh, there’s nothing to eat!” Make something. Use substitutes when needed. And then, share your recipe. Share your food with a loved one. Share a photo on Facebook and Instagram. Because, damnit, you accomplished something today. You made food! How awesome are you?
Share your favorite recipes below!