Today during my usual morning Facebook perusing I read the following article from the Huffington Post.
Click the link below to read the article
Ashton Kutcher Is Learning He Shouldn’t Reward Himself For Basic Parenting Stuff
Mila Kunis whooping Ashton’s ass about parenting was a war cry for every parent out there struggling through those issues with their co-parent( or lack of) and those who continue to remain silent.
Many out there fear having this conversation with their partner.
The article struck a chord with me personally.
Perhaps I resonate with Mila; I am also a tiny fiery dark haired woman. Perhaps its her intelligence and willingness to speak her mind on such things that should be common knowledge. Both intelligence and common knowledge seem to be lacking lately in the world.
I made the following comment on the Huffington Post article. It seems that many out there have a similar story to mine, or relate to the timidness during hard times, a choice to keep peace rather than fix an issue.
Below is the comment in full:
“Dude, its actually a big deal. Like it shouldn’t be as big a deal and is a huge part of parenting.
I used to wake every 2 hours every night to pump milk for my disabled baby who couldn’t get a latch with breastfeeding due to complications and had to use a haborman feeder.
Often my baby would wake up right after I was finished pumping and my son’s dad expected me to also do those midnight feedings because hey why not, you happened to be already up.
I fell for it for a while. I then noticed a huge difference in the way my mother in law approached my sons dad when he woke with the baby compared to when I woke up with the baby.
If he actually got up with the baby and left the room to head downstairs, Mother in law was up in seconds to relieve him of the baby and he would crawl back into bed. If I woke up with the baby, the entire house was silent and I was left to handle it all by myself. Mind you, his family is very old fashion and truly believes that moms are supposed to raise the children and care for the entire house as well as all cooking and chores. Having a kiddo with serious disabilities and multiple surgeries, daily physical therapy etc, it takes a huge toll on you.
Between being a nurse for my son during the day, very little sleep at night and a partner who believed that once he was home from work (he guarded a metal detector while sitting on a chair for a few hours) that clearly he needed a break from the baby and needed to go play video games and hey, why didn’t I get all the house work, laundry or dishes done while he was gone? I mean, its just a baby.
As I am sure you can tell, this relationship ended after a few years.
Having a partner who is actually willing to be a second parent is a huge deal and needs to be normalized. I was shocked hearing from friends who’s co-parents or husbands would let them sleep through the night because being home with a child all day is exhausting and its extremely hard to accomplish full complete tasks while handling a fussy baby. People who come home from hard work, or from a grocery shop, errands etc and understand that their time away was a break from the baby and now its their turn are absolutely amazing 💖
Lets normalize that behavior.”