The Problem with Dating Online

There’s a sickness spreading online.

 It’s not just the hatred polluting people & covering America like a thick smog.

 American Men online are lashing at strangers in an attempt to degrade them into some sort of a relationship.

 This may sound generalised but there is so much truth to the words that I type.

 When I connect with men from other countries, I am never treated the way I am by the American men who respond to my ads or dating profiles.

When I don’t include what I look like in a post I get horrible responses from people about how I am probably a fat ugly cow and they will only talk to me if I include my measurements or show them my breasts. If I include photos, I get responses of “How about a blow job?” or “let’s meet and fuck.”

When I don’t include my political beliefs, I get responses of how I must be a smart sophisticated independent woman who supports Trump. Or I get lashed at by guys assuming I supported Trump.

When I post about my political beliefs, I get called stupid, ugly, whore etc from people for not supporting whatever they support.

When I don’t discuss a career, I get harassed and lashed out at by men who assume I’m on welfare and “living off the system”

 When I do ask about careers I’ve been called a gold digger.

Whatever the complaint, it truly reveals way more about the men responding to me than it ever does about me.

You wouldn’t be happy with whatever I say, because inside, they themselves are truly unhappy.

Misery spreads – it is these men who are destroying opportunities & possible relationships for the few good men still out there. I am not counting the men who feel the need to flaunt & shout from their basement apartments how they are “good guys”

The true good guy never talks about being a good guy because inside he is completely convinced he is a horrible human being. 

“How do you know he is a good guy then” you may ask.

His friends, his family, they all speak about his actions on his behalf. You can see that goodness radiate from his being. It penetrates deep, and sticks with you. 

Those few good men, they grab at your heart & soul,  even from afar – like a strong liquor you swallowed down too quickly. The warmth spreads through out you. Your center feels the licks from the flame.

Yes, there are still a few good men – but they are being overshadowed by those straight white males, behaving like howler monkies, banging on their chests about “alphas”, how women are keeping them down in that pit of despair- all the while forgetting that if it weren’t for that woman who suffered through hours of agonizing labor, they would not be here.

That same woman (or possible some other who is now stuck for life, shackled to his side) cleans his filthy drawers, restocks his mini fridge with sugary drinks & may even work her hands to the bone so he can sleep peacefully with a roof over his head.

For you out there, wondering which category of man you neatly fit under – turn and ask that person sitting beside you. They most likely will assure you that yes, you are one of those few good men.

Only you can truly reflect, look inside yourself & ask – Are they lying?


4 thoughts on “The Problem with Dating Online

  1. It’s me Terrell from Twitter. Again if you’re not a racist, be careful with the use of the word howling monkeys. Some or many will view that as a racist term. I don’t know you and I don’t know what you’ve been through so are you calling the men that hurt you monkeys or was there something else behind that? Eventually truth comes out. A racist got caught when I was commenting on RDJ jr page. Nobody on his page that commented knows her but what she said defined her that moment.


      1. That’s why communication is important. When I read it I thought to myself wait is she a racist or maybe she’s using it for something else? In today’s world when a non-African American use that term about people its considered racist. Just incase you were not aware. Suppose some of the men you encountered were of different races (but the readers that jump to conclusions without getting facts will disregard that). This goes back to what I said I don’t know what you went through.


  2. Well, I did change it.
    Because I think it is also very important to point out that the only American men who have ever treated me this way have all been straight white cisgendered men.
    That is a very important distinction to make.
    I’ve talked to a few latinex men some of who felt the need to apologize immediately for their English even though they wrote beautifully. 1 or 2 men from some middle eastern backgrounds who were all polite.

    The responses I get are 20% really nice decent men.
    The other 80% are rude, condescending, bordering on obnoxious.
    I highly suggest to all men out there, if you see or read a comment from another man & he is behaving this way, please speak up. Tell them to knock it off.
    Not only does their behavior make other men look bad – when women, people of other ethnicities, backgrounds, cultures, genders, sexualities say something we get ignored or lashed out against.
    They will however listen to other white straight, cisgendered men.
    So please, on behalf of every victimized person who tries to speak up, become our voice. Correct their behavior. Silence only makes it seem like you agree.


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